{"id":81,"date":"2004-04-24T00:50:16","date_gmt":"2004-04-23T23:50:16","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.bosshard.net\/main\/article.php?story=20040424115016168"},"modified":"2009-03-07T03:26:23","modified_gmt":"2009-03-07T02:26:23","slug":"absolution","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/bosshard.net\/blog\/?p=81","title":{"rendered":"Absolution?"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>A nun is sitting with her Mother Superior chatting. &#8220;I used some <br \/> horrible language this week and feel absolutely terrible about it.&#8221; <\/p>\n<p> &#8220;When did you use this awful language?&#8221; asks the elder.<br \/>\n    &#8220;Well, I was golfing and hit an incredible drive that looked like it <br \/> would make 280, but it struck a phone line hanging over the fairway <br \/> and fell straight down to the ground after going only about 100 yards.&#8221;  <\/p>\n<p> &#8220;Is that when you swore?&#8221; <\/p>\n<p>   &#8220;No, Mother,&#8221; says the nun. &#8220;After that, a squirrel ran out of the <br \/> bushes and grabbed my ball in its mouth and began to run away.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>    &#8220;Is THAT when you swore?&#8221; asks the Mother Superior again. <\/p>\n<p>    &#8220;Well, no.&#8221; says the nun. &#8220;You see, as the squirrel was running, an <br \/> eagle came down out of the sky, grabbed the squirrel in his talons <br \/> and began to fly away!&#8221;<\/p>\n<p> &#8220;Is THAT when you swore?&#8221; asks the amazed elder nun. <\/p>\n<p>    &#8220;No, not yet. As the eagle carried the squirrel away in its claws, it <br \/> flew near the green and the squirrel dropped my ball.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>    &#8220;Did you swear THEN?&#8221; asked Mother Superior, becoming impatient. <\/p>\n<p>    &#8220;No, because the ball fell on a big rock, bounced over the sand trap, <br \/> rolled onto the green, and stopped about six inches from the hole.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>    The two nuns were silent for a moment.<\/p>\n<p>    Then Mother Superior sighed and said , &#8220;You missed the f..king putt, <br \/> didn&#8217;t you?&#8221;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>A nun is sitting with her Mother Superior chatting. &#8220;I used some horrible language this week and feel absolutely terrible about it.&#8221; &#8220;When did you use this awful language?&#8221; asks the elder. &#8220;Well, I was golfing and hit an incredible &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/bosshard.net\/blog\/?p=81\">Continue reading <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[13],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-81","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-jokes-stories"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/bosshard.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/81","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/bosshard.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/bosshard.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bosshard.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bosshard.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=81"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/bosshard.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/81\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":231,"href":"https:\/\/bosshard.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/81\/revisions\/231"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/bosshard.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=81"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bosshard.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=81"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bosshard.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=81"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}